Things are beginning to return to normal. I had a couple
rough days, meh; we’ll call it a week since I got back from California. The
stars just weren’t aligned or whatever astrologers say, and it seemed like
thing after thing was having a negative impact on my days.
The situation with my roommate was particularly stressful in
that I consider him more my friend than housemate, and I see him walking down a
very dangerous path. Although it’s painful to see a friend suffering, it’s
important to note that it is not me
that is drinking, and I simply need to keep doing what I’m doing, and things
overall have been quite splendid for me as of late.
Yesterday was a big turnaround for a number of reasons. I
had the house to myself and I did a fairly major cleaning overhaul that was
much needed. For those of you who have never been here, this house has only a
few small cupboards and very little storage space, so it’s easy for clutter to
build up, and junk was slowly taking over the countertops. So I went to Walmart
and bought shelving in one form or another for the kitchen, bathroom, and one
for shoes in the living room. I cleaned all of the surfaces from the ground up
on the lower level, and reorganized a bit, and it feels a little more like
home. And then, I relaxed. And then, I took a nap.
Later in the day, I was looking through my Facebook
messenger when I came across a thing that said Message Requests. I had seen this before, but forgotten its purpose,
so I clicked on it. Well, I’m glad I did, because there was a message in there
from about nine months ago that really changed my day.
Again, about nine months ago, I wrote a letter to a former
employer, asking for the opportunity to make amends. I
wrote this post about them, and hoped that eventually I would hear back but
I never did, until yesterday. Here’s the essence of that message:
Hello! We received your letter in the mail today. Thank you so much for
that! We think about you all the time and wonder where you are and how you’re
doing. I am so glad you are well and recovering! We always believed you were a
great person under all that crap! Keep up the hard work, it’s worth it. Thanks
again for reaching out!
I read it over and over, and then I replied. I explained how
Facebook had hidden the message from me, and that I was still doing well and
that I would love to visit them and talk next time I was down. They replied, and it’s
settled. Next time I go down to Fillmore County, specifically Lanesboro, I’ll
get to make an amend that has weighed heavy on my heart for nearly a decade. In
a way, it feels like the weight has already been lifted, but I know I still
have to carry out the task when I get there. It won’t be difficult, just like
every other amends hasn’t been. It’s really the anticipation that kills me;
wondering how it will go. But I already know, and that’s one of the greatest
things about working this program, is that you can be fairly certain of the
results if you keep doing the hard-to-do stuff.
Then the icing on the cake for me yesterday was going to my home
group where I get to see all of my sober friends every week. It’s truly the
best meeting I’ve ever been to, I’ve thought that from day one, and I look
forward to that every week.
So, what did we learn here? Rough patches will appear,
seemingly out of nowhere, and sometimes more than a few things happen in
succession, and it appears that life is throwing you a few lemons to test you
out. But, ha ha, I don’t even like lemons, so I just drop them and smash them.
And eventually they are left to rot. But remember if you smash the lemons
indoors, to clean up the mess, because fruit flies are really tough to get rid
of once they are airborne. Actually, I do appreciate the smell of lemons, but
that’s as far as it goes.
I got through a rough patch. This isn’t the first, nor will
it be the last.
Here's a picture of happiness.
