Friday, October 26, 2018

Bath Time


The bathroom is done. I should say, the bathroom is roughly half completed. It took two days to demolish, remove, and replace a cast iron tub from 1954 with something modern and more fitting with what we like in the 2000’s. I didn’t do any of the work, but we will likely do the rest of the demolition over the winter.

The contractor said that he rarely sees a home as well constructed as ours. Well, he actually said that what would normally be a two-hour demolition took him all day because of the layers of plaster, metal mesh, and tile that some “asshole” had put up back in the 1900’s. Fortunately, we had paid by the project, not the hour, so we didn’t incur any additional labor charges due to frustration. I’ve posted pictures of the old bath before, but I will post one again to compare it to the new one.

 


As you can see, this tub needed to be replaced. I can't find anymore pictures of the rest of the shower, but I can assure you they are burned into my memory.

I told the contractor that Amanda and I planned on using the winter months to tear down and build up new walls for the rest of the bathroom, and he suggested that I use all of them. I’m now wondering if it’s even possible to do what he has done and make it look decent. I have absolutely no knowledge of how to make a wall, or take one down properly for that matter. But, I have neighbors who are willing to teach, and to help. I think this is a project we will need help with, and this small town is great for people who want to help each other.
 
Here is our new bath and shower. Everything from top to bottom, inside and out, is covered by a lifetime warranty. I mean, it's plastic and pex, so nothing should really go wrong, but it's nice to know that we don't have to worry about anything.



 
It's not fancy; it's functional. All people really need to do in a shower is... bathe. We have to wait 24 hours before we use it so the adhesive has a chance to dry, but then we can leave that old cast-iron tub in our memories, and begin the process of completing the rest of the bathroom by removing years of plaster, steel mesh, and tile, and putting up something modern. I think I may have written an identical sentence up at the top of this, but I will leave it in because I'm about done writing and I don't have time to fix anything.
I'm still sober. There, this post is now recovery-related.

Saturday, October 20, 2018

I'm Almost 40 and I Drive a Minivan


It’s getting harder to find time to do the things I used to be able to do like write, go to the gym, and sleep. I have sacrificed all of these things for my existence in the middle of nowhere, because life evolves and changes into something else when you start doing things for other people instead of yourself. My goal is to always be selfless, but sometimes I can bend the truth a little to get the things that I want.

For instance…

I recently purchased a minivan. Now, I’ve been on the fence for a while on what to do with my old car because it was either time to put in a couple thousand in repairs, or trade it in for something with a bit less mileage. I decided on the latter because of two things: 1. Getting a three-year-old into the back seat of a Mini and buckled up properly is the worst thing. 2. I needed something better at dealing with over six inches of snow on the road.
Image result for 2016 dodge caravan sxt
So, I made a choice. I got something I wanted, and I got something that was good for the family. We went to a dealership in Lakeville where a friend of mine from the rooms of A.A. works, and we looked at cars. Well, vans.

Six months ago, when we started looking at houses, we ended up making an offer on the second house we looked at. The same was true in the parking lot. We looked in and around at a 2016 Dodge Grand Caravan SXT, and we drove it around. We loved it, and we made an offer. The offer of course was listed already on the price tag, but we did end up getting a better deal by about $1,000 off the listed price, plus my trade-in, plus some cash down. It’s still a huge investment, but it was needed, and now we can drive as a family in comfort.

It is a flex-fuel vehicle which means that I can use E-85 or gasoline, whichever I choose. So far, I have noticed that M.P.G.s are slightly lower with E-85, but in town, the difference in price per gallon is about a dollar, so do the math. I won’t. I wouldn’t know how to do the math. I’m good with letter’s, not number’s. I should clarify immediately that I made those punctuation errors on purpose. I thought it was funny. Enough about the car.

 

A lot is happening this week. I turn 39 for the second year in a row, and our bathroom gets a professional makeover with a new tub and shower. I have shared a picture or two of the old tub, and it is necessary to remove it and have everything under and behind it re-plumbed before a new one can be installed. I’m not willing or able to do any of that. It will, however, motivate me to remove the rest of the ancient pink tile on the other side of the bathroom and put up drywall, or sheetrock, I still don’t know the difference. Eventually, when we can afford it, we will put in a new sink to complete the remodel. Anything will look better than it does now, and this will certainly boost the value of our home.

 

Oh, I’m turning 40 on Wednesday. I just wanted to get that out there before anybody else does. Honestly, for what I’ve put myself through over the years, I can’t believe I don’t feel older than I do. I can attribute everything to exercise. It’s the only good thing I’ve ever done to my body, and it seems to be paying off. I don’t have any aches or pains; I can still get less than eight hours of sleep every night without being groggy in the morning, and I’m not out of breath when I perform simple tasks like walking up stairs. I see a few people similar in age struggling with these same simple motions, and I’m glad I’m not there.

 

That’s all I’ve got for now. I’m still going to my meeting weekly in town, and I am able to get to my old meeting in Delano about every other week which I love. I still get to my first home group in St. Paul about once a month, and I recently was asked to be a sponsor again. Life is good, and it’s all because I constantly work at it from so many angles. I am exactly where I want to be in most areas, and I’m actively doing things to move forward in the stagnant ones. More on that hopefully soon.

 

Sunday, October 7, 2018

Fixing Broken Bad


I’ve been bad. Rather, I’ve been watching bad: Breaking Bad. I knew that I wanted to see this series when it came out many years ago, before I started the bender that sent me to prison for possessing the drug that the show embellishes. I wanted to wait until not only did I have the time, but the ability to watch it without wanting to get high.

Here’s what I think of the show so far, and how it relates to reality and my old life.

The first scene that struck a nerve was in the first episode where they make their first batch of meth. I was only ever involved in the process once, and really I just watched. We were out on an abandoned farm and I can remember vividly the smells and sights, and some of those were recreated quite well on the program.

That day on that farm, things didn’t go well. We couldn’t get the right temperature for the chemical reaction because we didn’t have a hot-plate, and we were trying to use an old wood burning stove which uses, well, fire which doesn’t mix well with the process. We ended up going back into the city to a house where we had permission to cook. About midway through the operation, we were surprised by a landlord who showed up with a utility guy and we all had to hide in a basement bathroom with the lights off for an hour until the coast was clear. We netted very little by the end, and I would never see any of those people again.


The people in the show generally smoke their meth, which is the way I also intook the chemical. This has actually not been a source of trigger for me because they do it improperly. I’ve written before on the ritual, and I don’t want to do it again because that really can be a trigger for me, so I will just say that most meth users keep a very clean pipe and keep the source of the heat far away so as not to burn the precious commodity. Many people also shoot, boof (no, it's not a reference to flatulence. Not even close.), and eat their dose, but I stayed away from those other methods for a variety of reasons, most of them fear-based.

I see a lot of the people I used to hang around with. Their names and shapes are different, but their spasms and bearings are all the same. The looks on a tweaker’s face I believe cannot be duplicated without great acting and research, and these people did their homework—or their meth. I find myself wondering what they did to study the lifestyle, and how they reacted to seeing these types of people first hand. I also wonder what type of drug addict lets people not in the trade into their lives, and how they are recompensed.

I’m nearly into the third season and there are five total. I haven’t had an urge yet to throw away my life and go off the deep end, and if I had any sudden urge to make a call to an “old friend” I would call my sponsor: that’s what he’s there for.


I like a lot of different types of shows, and I love this one for the dialogue and character development. If you’ve never seen it, Bryan Cranston plays a chemistry teacher who is diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer, and decides he can make money to pay for his chemo by making and selling meth with an addict partner. I was a drug-addict/dealer, which is a losing combination because all of the profit goes inside me and my friends. It’s a vicious cycle that bears no repeating, and only dredges up calamitous and stomach-turning recollections. It’s much better watching somebody else do it from my couch in my house. Well, her couch in our house.

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Feast of Fantasy


We made it a year. About sixteen months ago I walked into a restaurant for a job interview and walked out with a dream. I saw the most beautiful woman I had—and have—ever seen, and I would take the job just to meet her. It was a terrible decision and I hate my job. No, no, that isn’t true at all. I love my job, and I love my girlfriend who happens to be that beautiful woman. Yesterday was our first official anniversary and we celebrated in grand fashion.

For her birthday which was ten days previous, I had purchased tickets to the Minnesota Renaissance Festival and a show inside called the Feast of Fantasy. During our holiday party earlier this year, we won a night’s stay at Hotel Minneapolis West End in St. Louis Park, so we finished our day on the rooftop looking over the Minneapolis skyline, and enjoyed a couple appetizers and she a few adult potions.

This post will be mostly pictures and a pretty cool video from inside the Feast of fantasy. It was the last show of the year, and they pulled out all of the stops, including dick and fart jokes. Those are my favorite.

Before I show off my pictures, I’d like to say that this was my first time at the RenFest, and it was really cool. It was nice to be in a place where people weren’t afraid to be who they wanted to be, even if it wasn’t themselves. If anything, we were the odd ones out, but nobody looked at us sideways; nobody made fun of us for the way we looked. I think the opposite is not so true outside those walls for people that are….you know, nerdy. I like most people, especially people who have fun.

So, we walked around in circles for a couple hours, watching people and spending money on various wares and fares, and of course, we had to have a turkey leg.
 

 
Don't worry, I will have some Photoshop work done to these pictures and send them to those I deem appropriate.
I tried on a kilt because when you are in Rome, you do as the Romans do. When you are at the Renaissance Festival, you try new things. Obviously, I look good.

 
This is the entrance to the feast. They primed us with some jokes and we played along. We were called in by name and we entered to our set tables. It was much smaller than I expected inside, but the size would have nothing to do with the event in the end. If I counted correctly, there were 72 attendees.
 
The fire-breathers were a dynamic trio of entertainment. Nothing they did would I ever want to try at home, but I will anyhow because it looked super easy. Also, I love the smell of gas, so I assume it tastes great as well.

Just a cool shot.

 
I had to resize this video to fit it onto this post. I hope it's viewable.

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