In April of 2001 I experienced the single most traumatic event of my lifetime until that point. I entered Hazrlden and they required a blood draw.
When I went into the hospital 13 years later because I thought I might be dying, the Doctor told me the same thing. Immediately I felt like running. I'm not afraid of needles, I'm afraid of having blood drawn, or getting/having/or even hearing about surgery. (Just now I wanted to find out the proper name for those phobias, and I gave up in about three seconds because of all the danger words I saw as a result of my search.) I knew I went pale, and I remember walking away from the Doctor with a sheet of paper in my hand for the evil blood people, and I found Curt and we went to the proper floor. Waiting in the lobby was terrifying. I knew that at any moment they could call my name and I wasn't sure if I could stand up without passing out. I'm up in my head a lot and when I start thinking about all of the possibilities.....
Anyhow, my name was called and I shyly stood and admitted I was the chosen one. She told me I looked nervous and I'm sure I told her something very nice about her ability to observe and mention things. I could see the chair through tunnel vision as I made my approach and I felt the urge to vomit. I didn't, and I sat. The mean woman went about her routine like I was some normal customer and I made her aware of my fear. She didn't slow down. "Can't we talk about this?" I pleaded. She was in no mood. Bitch.
She produced an alcohol wipe and rubbed it vigorously against my arm in the bad place that bad people shouldn't touch. That was enough to make me see stars. I couldn't breathe, so I couldn't tell her to stop. Black. Quiet. Safety.
I woke up to being attacked by three women. Two were holding me down and one was stabbing me repeatedly in the lower armpit (I don't know if there's a term for the other side of the elbow). They were saying things but I couldn't understand them. They may have been taunting me.
Suddenly, all of my senses came flooding back. I could feel the needle leaving as my hearing and sight started to aid my brain again. The nurse said "It looks like your color is coming back." Thanks
It was over. For the first time in 10 days, something took my mind off of the pain I felt. What a world.
Twenty minutes later the Doc called me in to tell me that all of my blood appeared to be normal. I was literally pissed that I had to go through all of that for nothing. He then told me about the next test we would do. I listened. I remained calm. "What?"
Anyhow, my name was called and I shyly stood and admitted I was the chosen one. She told me I looked nervous and I'm sure I told her something very nice about her ability to observe and mention things. I could see the chair through tunnel vision as I made my approach and I felt the urge to vomit. I didn't, and I sat. The mean woman went about her routine like I was some normal customer and I made her aware of my fear. She didn't slow down. "Can't we talk about this?" I pleaded. She was in no mood. Bitch.
She produced an alcohol wipe and rubbed it vigorously against my arm in the bad place that bad people shouldn't touch. That was enough to make me see stars. I couldn't breathe, so I couldn't tell her to stop. Black. Quiet. Safety.
I woke up to being attacked by three women. Two were holding me down and one was stabbing me repeatedly in the lower armpit (I don't know if there's a term for the other side of the elbow). They were saying things but I couldn't understand them. They may have been taunting me.
Suddenly, all of my senses came flooding back. I could feel the needle leaving as my hearing and sight started to aid my brain again. The nurse said "It looks like your color is coming back." Thanks
It was over. For the first time in 10 days, something took my mind off of the pain I felt. What a world.
Twenty minutes later the Doc called me in to tell me that all of my blood appeared to be normal. I was literally pissed that I had to go through all of that for nothing. He then told me about the next test we would do. I listened. I remained calm. "What?"
