I’ve spent two days working in the laminating factory this
week, and I’ve come to the realization that I just can’t do it anymore. I‘m not
saying that I ever had any passion for the industry, like I do for culinary,
I’m saying I started there at an unparalleled level of boredom, and it has only
gone down. Today, for example, I spent the first four hours cutting my half of
the film gap between giant cardboard boxes. What
does that all mean, Vince? Good question. I could spend a significant
amount of our time dissecting the process for you, but that would put me in a
catatonic state of mind which would eventually lead to more “downer” posts, and
I just can’t put my mind there.
I’m remaining attentively hopeful about this Amazon job,
although I haven’t heard anything from them since I sent over the final
documents necessary to complete my application for consideration for
employment. I can’t be too upset if they say no. I mean, I’m a convicted felon
and recovering drug addict. I would imagine that somewhere in a giant vat of
statistics it says that I would not work out in the long-run, which is why I
included my own narrative, along with several credible references within and
outside of the recovery community, including my parole officer and current
employers. I figured I should be thorough if I were to have a chance at all.
Above all, I must be aware that the very worst case says
that I still have two jobs, all of my bills are paid, I have clean water to
drink, and I can buy food whenever I want to eat. That’s a very reputable
worst-case scenario compared to past Vinces. Shit, is there supposed to be an
apostrophe in my name in that situation? I wish I knew.
Today while I was working, my boss called from the Xcel
Center and said I wasn’t able to work the two upcoming shifts this weekend
during the rodeo because it just wasn’t going to be busy enough. He was
apologetic, and emphasized that it was an issue of seniority, and that he
really wanted me there. I understood. My restaurant is already slow enough
during games, and I can only assume that people wouldn’t come up to the suite
level to get drinks and food when the suites aren’t even open. Ugh.
So, what shall I do with all of this extra time? Well, I’ve
already made quite a few plans with my beautiful Heather for this weekend, and
I think I’ll see if I can spend even more time with her. Yes, I’ve been a
little hesitant to write her in to this blog. Well, I think it’s because it’s a
pretty big step for me. Not just writing about somebody other than me, but
including somebody in all of my thoughts, feelings, and actions. For a while I thought
maybe I was destined to be single forever, and maybe it was a result of my
actions in the past, making me un-datable, and then one day I saw her walking
up to my front door, an invitee of my roommate to a small dinner I made for a
select few. I didn’t do a double-take, I just stared. She was tall, blonde, and
beautiful. Immediately I wanted to get to know her.
And I did. It didn’t happen right away, but over time and
with another visit to my house for a bonfire, I worked up the courage to ask
her out for after-midnight coffee, then for her phone number, then out on a
date. And then another. And over time, with a few speed-bumps, we have grown
close; at least I like to think so.
She challenges me. I’ve spent the past few years writing out
all of my thoughts and feelings, and I’ve had trouble communicating those
properly to the people I know and love, and she has listened to me tell my
story—at least the beginning—once again. Putting me outside my comfort zone has
opened up a new world for me with communicating like an adult, and I have
learned that I have a long way to go, and I don’t always like it, but I have
felt growth inside me that has been substantial, and I have her to thank for
that. Here I am communicating that to her in the third person.
On a lighter note, I really enjoy planning dates, Friday
nights at the movies, and cooking for her. I look forward to our long talks on
the phone, and our future trips to ghetto fabulous malls. God put her in my
life at the right time, and something in me changed the day I saw her; I felt
hopeful in an area of my life I had probably given up on.
Heather, thank you for being you, and helping me be a better
me, you shine.
