Since I signed up last week for Credit Karma, I’ve received
two offers to go on all-expense-paid cruises, and been invited to some sort of
time-share presentation, presented by some reality television figures I have
never heard of. Also, my spam folder has exploded with junk mail, and even my
regular inbox filter hasn’t been doing a very good job. So, if you’re wondering
why Credit Karma is free, it’s because they sell every bit of your identity to
probably anybody that wants it. But truth be told, I don’t really care, and
just like the rest of you, I’m used to being surrounded by advertising
everywhere I go anyhow.
I’m a proud supporter of The Current, a part of Minnesota
Public Radio. But for two weeks, I’ve had to endure endless emails, and
constant interruptions of music, asking me for more, more, more. I just upped
my contribution less than three weeks ago, and quite frankly, I wish I hadn’t
because they’re kind of pissing me off right now.
On this very computer on which I type all of my posts, I am
subjected to a salvo of advertisements—actually, they’re all the same—that I
can’t even click away. Yeah, there’s no “X” in the upper right-hand corner to
make it all go away, I actually have to click on the ad or I can’t continue my
work. Then I have to wait for the fucking thing to load before I can finally
tell it to fuck off. You know what I can guarantee? That I will never purchase
any of this shit. It seems that everything is an advertisement. Michael
Crichton, I think, wasn’t too far off when he wrote about animals in Jurassic
Park having advertisements in their restructured D.N.A. in Jurassic Park (the
book, not the film). Is that the next logical step? In the future, will I be
able to buy a cheaper dog if it has the Pepsi logo embedded in its hair through
D.N.A. manipulation? Or maybe instead of barking, it will say, “Walmart.”
Advertising agencies have not gotten more creative, they
have become more invasive. If you ever take a look at your app’s in your
settings on your phone, scroll down and look at something called permissions.
For example, the camera that came with my phone, the only one that I can use
from my phone, has the ability to control 12 different functions while I’m not
even using it. Most of them are basic, but a couple fishy ones are: Record
audio (at any time without my confirmation); read my text messages (regardless
or content or confidentiality); record and send my precise location; and record
without notification.
Now, many of these probably have some function behind them,
but the reality is, Google wants, no, needs to know what we are doing,
watching, and maybe even saying, all of the time. This is so they can get to
know us better, not because they want to be our friend, but because they want
to know what they should try to sell us, and our friends.
Facebook does it, too. I don’t know exactly why or how, but
there’s always a catch. Another example, when you hit “like” on a picture, and
suddenly there are a hundred related articles or pictures that you would “like”.
Something, somewhere, is watching the patterns, and at some point—I would bet
my life on it—this will turn in to advertising on Facebook. Mark my words,
whatever that means.
Advertising is no longer subliminal. To get your message out
these days you have to be bigger, bolder, and more intrusive. It’s the only way
you can get our attention anymore. I’ve had to click on two advertisements
during the writing of this post, and I’ve already forgotten what they were for,
because my anger overrides my interest in whatever software they are trying to
peddle. Maybe someday they will figure me out, and they will start to
personalize advertisements just for me. Could that be the real future? If they
get to know me well enough, they will surely understand what I will and will
not click on, and what I have and have not purchased in the past. Individually
specific advertising might just be the wave of the future.
