The overall success rate in the program of A.A. is estimated at
somewhere between 5-10%, probably around 6%. Roughly one in 15 people who walk
through the doors is able to become and stay sober. Yesterday I was surrounded
by over 6,000 people who had made the decision to quit drinking. It was cool.
There were meetings everywhere, food plentiful, and conversant
faces all around at the Gopher State Round Up. Whatever XLIII means, that’s how
many Round Up’s there have been. I had attended one previously in 2001 when I went
with a group in Hazelden. I spent most of my time with a friend handing out
pamphlets we had stolen from a kiosk to random people. We thought it was
hilarious.
Yesterday, I went to a meeting right when I got there, and
then began circling around the main court searching for food and friends. It
only took a few minutes before so many memories came back.
Joe, Ben, and myself were alike in so many ways. We were
fun, friendly, caring people, who had lost their way. We had all met nine or so
years ago in Rochester shortly after I had come back from my cruise. Joe and I
actually lived in the same duplex, and we started hanging out and drinking
right away. It didn’t take too long after we had a conversation about never
doing hard drugs again before we started doing hard drugs again. And that’s how
we met Ben. Ben had drugs. Drugs, Ben, drugs.
Like I said, I was pretty fresh off the wagon, but I started
hitting it pretty hard. Within a few weeks, my group of friends had changed
exclusively from one set to another. I could now stay up all night, because of
the active ingredient in methamphetamine. And I used my new found time to play
cards and search for agates with my new best friends. Truly, honestly, Joe and
I became good friends even in the world of shit. And Ben began to come over,
and we went to his place more often because I believe we offered an escape from
the reality of his life as he knew it, and there was some comfort for him in
having a place to just relax and get high with some “normal” people.
My life, my job, and my family were quickly slipping away,
and that’s when I made the decision to start my career as a professional drug
salesman. It looked easy, and I would surely reach peak popularity with the
masses in no time at all. So naturally my life slipped away from me. I became
isolated, alone, and afraid of every movement and sound. People became my
enemy, and everything was being stripped away from me at an alarming rate. My
pride, my dignity, my self-esteem were all washed away with every hit I took. I
could see myself wasting away in the mirror, and I weighed in at 135 pounds. I
could see my heart beating through my chest.
Flash forward nearly a decade as I’m wandering through the
poolside area of the largest sober get together in Minnesota, and I’ll be
damned, there they were. I saw Ben first. He turned when I said his name and I don’t
think it quite clicked, I mean it had been a while. That’s when I saw Joe. That’s
also when I couldn’t stop smiling for the rest of the day. The last time I had
seen these guys we were all so disheveled and desperate I definitely had
thoughts that I never wanted to see them again shortly after I got out of that
mess. But here they were, sober and smiling. And they had some time under their
belts which I was happy to hear. I’m not going into details about an anonymous program
but we spent a couple hours catching up and it was by far the highlight of my
day, my week, maybe even since my release from prison.
We are part of the tiny little miracle: the 6%. I’ll finish
by stating the obvious, that leaves 94% unaccounted for out there. Any of you
who know somebody out there still struggling, there is hope. I found proof of
that yesterday over and over. It’s never too late.
