I missed my exit. I wasn’t paying attention because I was on
the phone. I always use my earpiece when I drive because I think it’s safer,
but if I missed my exit to work, there must be some side effects. I knew there
was another exit about a mile up the road on MN highway 12, so I would just
loop around to get off at my exit which only lets onto highway 15 from the
westbound side.
Now driving in the eastbound lanes, I noticed some debris on
the side of the road, but I didn’t think much of it. I continued my
conversation on the phone and found another exit that would allow me to finally
get to work, still on time. I have never been late (in sobriety), and this
(last) Friday would be no exception.
Now travelling in the westbound lanes again, I saw up ahead
in the lanes I had just been travelling that there appeared to have been an
accident, and the cops had already arrived on the scene. I thought to myself
that it all must have happened very quickly and that the officer must have been
behind the vehicle and saw it all happen, whatever it was.
I got closer and saw what looked like a van at an odd angle
up on the grass and it had a huge spider web indent on the passenger side
window. I thought that probably the van hit something and the passenger wasn’t wearing
a seatbelt. I said a silent prayer for whoever might be injured.
I made my exit this time. As I wound my way through the
million dollar houses that line the shores of Lake Minnetonka I had to pull
over several times for emergency vehicles going the opposite direction at an
alarming speed. I have never seen any vehicle travelling as fast as they were,
and I knew they were probably doing to the accident I had just seen, but I was
still surprised at the sense of urgency they portrayed. I would guess that even
on those windy roads, they were going well over 120 on the straight-aways. Huh.
When I got to work, not five minutes in, I found out that an
officer was involved in some sort of a crash on Highway 12, very close by. I
stated that I had just seen it, but I didn’t really know what was going on. It
looked like the officer was just parked on the side of the road, but I wasn’t
paying much attention to it all as I needed to make my exit.
And a few hours later the news was everywhere. An officer
had been struck and killed on the side of the road while clearing some debris.
And I started wondering. I wondered if any part of my chain of events could
possibly have had an effect on the outcome because I was so close to it all.
Was the officer behind me in the distance? Probably, yes. Could I have known
what was about to transpire behind me? Well, no. And I didn’t know what was
going on from the other side of the road either, and if I had stopped to help,
it wouldn’t have mattered anyhow. But I still wonder.
It also takes me back to the days where I would frequently
pass out behind the wheel due to sleep deprivation. Four times, in four
different cars I woke up backwards on a highway or speeding off into a ditch.
Four times I was lucky to escape serious injury myself, and four times I cannot
believe my actions did not affect anybody else with injury or death.
The driver of the car is said to have been texting and high
on cocaine. That was true of me for years while I was behind the wheel, also
with no license. I was no better than her, and I am so grateful that I am not
in her shoes, and although she is pretty well fucked from a legal standpoint, I
hope she finds the help she needs while she is away, and I hope the family of
the victim can forgive her eventually, as hard as it may be.
