Down

I've hit another blogging milestone today! As of just after midnight, I've had 5,000 page views. In the grand scheme of things, it's really not that many. That would be like selling 15- 325 page books. But for me it's exciting because I know people are reading what I write and it makes me want to write more. I ask of one favor from you: if you have any favorite posts, or you particularly like one in the future, share it. There is a link at the bottom of every post that allows you to share it on all of the main social media outlets, and it would really help me get my message out, whatever my message might be that day. Thanks now.

This will be my last weekend of lock down. Again, like last weekend, I’ve spent about four hours on both Saturday and Sunday, doing community service at the Goodwill Outlet. It’s not particularly boring or stressful, but without fail, every week, I’m the only one that keeps moving, working, hustling. I don’t take breaks, and I don’t sit down. It almost certainly is the type of place that beats a person down over time as they pay minimum wage and don’t offer much in the way of benefits. It is very clear that nobody enjoys working there. That’s why I try to liven things up by trying on funny hats. Don’t get me wrong, I have fun and we laugh a lot while I’m there, but I wouldn’t want to be stuck there five days a week. Which reminds me, I’ve worked or done community service now for 14 straight days and I’m feeling pretty good. Five more days of work after this stretch and I’ll be taking next Saturday off, which I will use to finish a project for my Grandma. It will hardly seem like work and it will be great to see a member of my family that I have not been able to see for over a month.

My schedule is packed for this next week. Meetings, fellowship, free time, work, I can’t wait. It will be really nice to pick up where I left off with my sponsor reading the Big Book, and finally getting a start on these steps that I’ve heard so much about. I really need them in my life because I’ve gone a bit downhill in the last month. I’m kind of a dick, and that’s not what I want to be. It’s tough being cooped up and I think it has definitely begun to get to me. In the month of restriction, only one person visited me. One. There’s got to be a reason for that. And I assume it’s me and not that I’ve chosen to have only ass holes as friends. Oh, and that one person wasn’t even family. So, maybe I’ve come to be a little bitter, but I unquestionably haven’t reached out to people to come spend time here, but why would I living with my mom? Yep, I need to keep on working on that change that I started before they took my time from me. This hasn’t been quite like a return trip to prison, but it’s as close as I’d care to get.

This has been the hardest time for me since my release. I have tried so hard to remain positive but I can only hold out for so long before I start to crack. OOOh! Did I say crack!? That’s one of my triggers, and now I feel like smoking a little crack. I mean, I’m joking a little there, but this month has been filled with urges, spontaneous thoughts of use, perfect opportunities to use and get away with it, and many, many pictures of delicious beer passing in front of my eyes at work. But I’m stronger than all of those triggers. I’m better than that, and I know the only path they can send me down. And a week from now, my spirits will be up, the sun will be shining, and I will at last be on that beautiful road to freedom.

They're Back

You may remember reading this, my post recalling the moment I was arrested in Rochester back in 2013. Well, once again, my co-defendant is back in jail on new charges. And, not to be outdone, another old friend who I sold drugs with (allegedly) and spent some time in St. Cloud with, is in jail for a first-degree sales charge, the same charge I was arrested for. It's a vicious cycle. Since the following is public information, I will post it unedited. This is just a little glimpse into the life I used to live.

The pistol is going to hurt him. Whatever his prison sentence is, and it will be a lengthy one, five years will be added to the end of it, and judges don't have any leeway on that in this state. I don't feel sorry for him or think he's being fucked by "The Man." He made some bad choices and lost sight of the important things in life. I will write to him and offer my support from out here in hopes it has some effect on him in the long run.

Katie, as we've referred to her in previous posts, is only in for a fifth-degree possession, but she will likely see prison time because of her extensive criminal history involving meth. I hope the best for her and all my friends, past and present, but the law does not take kindly to multiple repeat offenders. Or, for that matter, people doing really well, as has been my experience over the past 20ish days.

One of my agents stopped by and gave me a breathalyzer and a urinalysis, and asked me how things were going and if there was anything new. I stopped myself before saying anything rude, and simply said no. How much can be new when all I'm allowed to do is go to work and meetings? Fucking great question, Vince. I'm glad you asked it. Here's the answer, "nothing!"

Yeah, it's getting a little old, boring, uneventful out here. It's Friday night, and I'm cooking dinner for my mom which should be pretty good. I'm making fried chicken, saffron rice, and some sort of little salad (without croutons) on the side. We haven't had dinner together for a while so it should be a nice little evening.

And that's really all I've got. I know it's a short post but you'll just have to deal with it. Once I get off of this lock down thing, I'll get more material from being out in the world again. Until then, you can look forward to similar posts about other people's lives, and mine at home.

Area 51

I'm so sorry to any of you who found this post via internet search looking for information regarding the popular alien hot-spot in the desert. This post has nothing to do with extraterrestrial lifeforms, its title is solely based on the fact that this is my 51st post on this blog. If you happen to keep reading through your disappointment, you may find what you see more interesting than aliens provided once we actually discover life elsewhere in the galaxy, it turns out to be something small and boring like bacteria, not the bi-pedal, green, two-eyed freaks like you see in movies.

I am sitting at work on my lunch break and I actually have no idea what this post is going to be about, only that I wanted to get new material out there because my stats are low over the past few days. I'm off to a good start though as I have killed two paragraphs writing about absolutely nothing important. Well, back to work for now!

3:08pm This is my last 15 minute break of the day. I've not been laminating too much today, rather I've been helping the boss take apart and fix

6:10pm Okay, done with work. I was helping the boss fix the gigantic UV machine. I'm not good at things like that but I sure am good at nodding in agreement and saying the name of a part almost at the same time he does but just behind so he thinks I know what a hámmer is or a "bolt".

As we were working, overhead the speakers were playing classic rock. You know those same 200 songs they've been playing since the early '80s? They still play them, and I know all of the words! Well, anyhow, I'd like to mention this: At some point in the history of the world, somebody who is in charge of finding talent pointed to Bob Seger and said, " That man's got talent." Then, even worse, somebody even higher up agreed with him, and told Bob Seger he should sing on the A.M. radio, or whatever they had back then. I would post a link for his music here but then people might click on it, then Bob Seger might see an influx of interest in his "music" and think that people wanted to hear more of it. Well, to the man that discovered Bob Seger I say, "Fuck you!" If I ever see you I will slap you right in the face because you did a bad thing to our world. And that's enough on that subject.

6:30pm I leave the house right on time for one of my four hour blocks of free time. As I'm walking to my car I see what looks like an undercover police car not quite in front of our house, but close. Seeing a break in traffic, I bolt across the street and get in my car and go. The suspicious car whipps a shitty and pursues me. Uh oh. I make my way up Grand hill, around the big bend, and up just past Dale St. when my phone rings.... It's the restricted number I'm accustomed to seeing when my agents call. I answer but I don't hear anything. I put my right turn blinker on, and I make the turn on the street of my favorite sushi joint, Saji-ya. It happens to be a one-way street and I'm now going the wrong direction. Even better, I have tricked my agent into following me down the street, and he has now trapped me in-between his car and a random motorist. I break out in laughter and just sit there. This is fun. The random motorist backs up, and I proceed to turn left into an empty parking space so I could turn around and I look behind me and see my agent has actually taken a right into the alley behind me, which I did not see. Off to a bad start. So I back it up into the alley and reverse park next to the place where he's waiting for me. I roll down my window and we just stare at eachother. I smile and wave at him and he cracks. He laughed for the first time ever and says, "What was that?" And all I could say was, "I don't know man, I took one wrong turn and it went to shit from there."  And the rest of the visit took two minutes and went smoothly.

I didn't get nervous or flustered like I could have. I knew I hadn't done anything worth a trip back to prison, and my agent acknowledged that I'm working a good program so he wouldn't write me up for the wrong way down a one way ordeal. It's strange how everything can appear to be normal and then suddenly be so catastrophic, but there it was.

I had another fun night out with my Wednesday night friends. It's 11:13pm and I have to work early tomorrow so I will end these random paragraphs now.