Vinnie, Vince, Vincent '98-'15

So much has happened in my life over the past two years. Fortunately for you, I’ve been writing about it and publishing it on the internet for the world to enjoy. Since I will be quite busy cooking for my BBQ tomorrow, I wanted to get this out today. Although I don’t technically have two years sober until tomorrow, I have faith I will make it without a drug or a drink until then.

Two years ago I walked into a courtroom looking exactly like this. In fact, this picture was taken less than 20 minutes after my 50-month sentence was handed down.I had ingested a whole gram of meth just before I walked in to the courthouse, and you can see it in my eyes.

Of course I stole this picture from the world wide web so there are some additions to it but you get the idea, I was a mess.

13 days later I was transported to St Cloud prison where they were able to capture this gem on film, and I was able to track it down for you.

The following pictures are reminders of where my life has been. They are not in any particular order, nor could I possibly remember when or where they are all from. And sadly, these are only about half of the mugshots I have accrued over the past 19 years as a habitual criminal, I'm sure if I spent a little more time I could have tracked them down.  So, here goes...

 This of course is the infamous picture that was all over the news from the meth bust in South Rochester.

 This is a picture of a male model that happens to look like me.

 So, I'm definitely going to grow this hair out and see if maybe I can track this shirt down at a Walgreen's somewhere to recreate this look very soon.

 Uhh. I don't know, man.

 Ditto.

 Fuck me.

 This is my favorite, and was possibly the result of a broken ankle, a fight with a cop, and a little arson charge.

It looks like I was pretty cracked out here, but this is what I looked like in my early teens. 

Then there's this one. It's my other favorite. It was taken on September 6th, 2015 two days before my release from prison. I hope it is the last picture ever taken of me in captivity. There's so much I've been doing and so much I can continue to do to make sure this is where the mugshots stop. 

Tomorrow will mark my two year sobriety anniversary. Some might say that I had an unfair advantage being locked up for the first 15 months, but I don't agree. There were plenty of chances to use or abuse inside, but I chose the road less traveled. I participated in A.A. meetings whenever I could, and I refrained from joining in with the pill-popper trade that goes on inside the walls. I put everything into the six month cognitive behavioral treatment I went through at C.I.P. because I knew that I needed to face this thing head on (Head on, apply directly to the forehead...) if I had any chance of surviving on the outs. 

And here I am.

2016

The new year is upon us. What a year it's been for me. For nine months of it of course, I was behind bars. This next year promises to be a challenge, but nowhere near as terrible as 2015. Again I picture myself back in Moose Lake prison a year ago, wondering what next year had in store for me. I knew it was probable that I would be home, but I was still uncertain about actually following through with boot camp.

For me, sometimes making the tougher choice or doing the harder thing has not been easy. I actually thought that I would never be able to run or do the aerobics necessary for entry into CIP. So much so that I thought of withdrawing my application and serving out my time. That may sound crazy, and it is, but it was the easier path in my mind. Just like out here, for the first month or so, I truly believed that going back to prison would be better than dealing with social awkwardness and living with Mom again. But alas, just like nearly everything else I have doubted myself about in my life, I have pressed on and succeeded. Not so much by setting goals or taking certain steps, but by throwing myself into the grind and dealing with everything as it it thrown my way, I have found myself in a good place for being out of prison not even four months.

Starting next week, my last two month phase of ISR begins. I will see my agents less and I will be allotted 16 hours of free time per week which I can split up in four segments if I choose to do so. I know that doesn't seem like much time, but its double what I've had for the last eight weeks. This is my opportunity to ease myself into society a little more, and use my extra time to do things I want to do instead of doing things I need to get done. For example, I can go out after my Wednesday night meeting for fellowship. It's what I consider to be my home group, and I've been looking forward to socializing with my people for a long time now. And that is what I'm looking forward to most about this extra time.

In just two more months, if I've behaved myself, I will be on to phase three. I will no longer have to submit a weekly schedule, and I will be free to do what I please from 6:30am until 10:30pm, as long as what I'm doing doesn't break the law or the general rules of parole. I think I can handle that.

I also plan to continue with my writing even though I doubt myself from time to time about my ability to come up with new material. As you may have read, I can write a whole post on complete nonsense. I'm actually pretty good at coming up with ideas, its the putting it into words in a semi-appropriate manner that proves difficult for me. Posting A video of a man fucking a vaccuum on my last one was a bold step, and I have received no feedback on it, but that means I received no negative feedback as well. Don't be afraid to tell me what you think folks, I can handle it.

I've never made any New Years resolutions and I'm not going to start now because they usually involve doing something I wouldn't want to do, or not doing something I enjoy. All I want to do is have a better year than the last which shouldn't be too difficult. I have a lot to look forward to in 2016 as I eventually will move out on my own again, hopefully for the last time, again.

Ugh. My brain can't think of anything more to write today. With that, I wish you all a happy new year, and please remember to drive responsibly, or you just might get to experience what I've been writing about for so long. Bye bye!