It’s that time of year again where we celebrate the theft of
our land from Natives by some guys from Spain. Right? Or did the Brits steal
it? I have no clue, I lost all of my historical knowledge years ago in the fray.
Well, Google tells me that the "First Thanksgiving"
was celebrated by the Pilgrims after their first harvest in the New World in
October 1621. Fair enough. I suppose this explains why it is customary to share
gratitude over a meal every year. When you have something to be grateful for,
like a harvest, you celebrate it.
This year I have a lot to celebrate. My
life is quite different than a year ago, and very opposite three years ago when
I ate sliced turkey loaf and canned fruit off of a tray in prison. Here is what
I am most thankful for this year:
1.
Nina. It’s been two months since my grandma
suffered her stroke, and although there are some permanent side effects, she is
able to do nearly everything she could do before it happened. She still has her
personality, her humor, and her strength. I ponder why it took such a
catastrophic event to get me closer to her life, but the point is that I have
the capacity to be there, and I have shown up when I was needed.
2.
Continued sobriety. Another holiday approaches and nobody will
have to ask my mom where I am. I have sustained my commitments to my
home-group, my sponsor, and my sponsees for a long time now. Working with
others has been the foundation of my recovery which supports all of my other
actions, and without action on my part, and like-minded people I can rely on
for support, this daily reprieve from alcohol and drugs would not be possible.
3.
The Girls. Without my sobriety, I would never
have landed in this relationship I am in now, and I can’t imagine my life any
other way. This is a different life: there’s not a moment of quiet or privacy,
and I don’t get to watch Netflix as often as I did when I was single, but such
is life. I am happy every day I wake up next to her (even when she pushes snooze five times), and I am grateful that I
have an opportunity to be a positive male role model for two adorable children, which is something I
lived without (in my home) for the first 39 years of my life. Every day I am
happy.
4.
Mom. I don’t see you as much as I did a year
ago, but we are both in different places (figuratively and literally) in our lives. What I am grateful for
is the relationship that we have formed since the day I got locked up in
December of 2013. I remember getting a letter from you while I was sitting in
that cold dark jail cell and feeling like I had somebody that cared for me for
the first time in a while. That letter, although a little stern, got me through
a lot, and even though I continued on the wrong path for a while after that,
you were there through my entire stay in prison, and you have supported me every
step of the way since my release. I love you.
5.
My job. I have benefits, I get paid more than I
ever have, and I actually look forward to going to work. I’ve never been able
to say that combination of words before.
And that’s the list. Of course I have a lot
more to be thankful and grateful for, but this isn’t always the right place to
say everything I want to, so I will leave it at that.
Every day, every week, I get farther and
farther away from that criminal I used to be. This has not been the easy path:
there was and is much work to be done, but the results are in and I’m loving my
life as it is, so I need to continue doing what I have been because it’s
working. Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Don’t forget to tell your loved ones not
just that you love them, but why you love them.
