We don’t have TV. I should illuminate that last sentence by
saying that there are several television sets in the household, we just don’t
subscribe to any satellite, cable, or over-the-airwaves boob-tube programming.
I have Netflix, and that is what we use most frequently. The Vikings game was
not available on Netflix.
I should illuminate that last paragraph by stating that I
have not watched a regular-season football game in years: I really don’t care
for the game. I am however interested in the possibility that the Vikings may
very well go to the Super Bowl in their own state, a feat which has never been
accomplished by any team.
I had no way to watch the game, and I don’t own a radio or
even know if the game was anywhere on the dial as playoff games in many sports
are not often broadcasted over the A.M. and F.M. frequencies. I do have the
internet on my phone, so I googled the MN Vikings score at about 4pm today and
saw we were up 7-0. I refreshed the screen probably a hundred times over the
next three hours as I was lead through a roller-coaster ride of fear, doubt,
and elation. I was finishing my dinner and the screen said there was ten
seconds left and we were somewhere in the 30’s on our side. It wasn’t looking
good.
I hit refresh one last time, looking for 24-23 to be the
final score, when I was surprised to see 24-29 final. I raised my fists in the
air and declared victory for the Vikings which was met with a cheer from the
older girl and two blank stares from the others. I couldn’t believe it. I knew
from the score that there had been a last-minute touchdown, but I couldn’t find
any footage at that point. It took about ten minutes for me to find the clip of
what I will refer to as the immaculate missed tackle. Hey, it doesn’t matter
how you get there, it matters that you got there.
I know nothing else about football. I have no idea who we
play next, or whatever teams might have made it in this year, I only know we
are where we are because of every minute of every game of this season.
Everything—good and bad—that has occurred this season, has lead to this moment.
This is how I perceive my life as I know it now. I wouldn’t
be who and where I am right now if it weren’t for all of the shit I have put
myself through in my life. I have to be grateful for everything, because it all
equals me.
There are new stressors in my life now, but I react
differently than I would have many years ago. In the big book of A.A. the
chapter on the 10th step contains my favorite sentence: Love and tolerance of others is our code.
I love it because it tells me how I should be living my life in sobriety. If I
have been honest and thorough in my step work up until this point, this will
come naturally, and it has.
I find myself reciting that phrase over and over in my head
throughout my day when I encounter things that used to baffle and destroy me.
Now I have an understanding that I can’t control what other people do and
think, and I don’t waste my time dwelling on things I could or should have
done. The only thing I have any power over is how I show up right here and
right now.
I kept trying to think of a football analogy to throw into
that last paragraph but I couldn’t think of anything meaningful because I don’t
know how to properly use the terminology from the game. So, since I’m a fairly
decent writer, and I like using new words, I’m going to give it a shot here.
My life now is like a nickel formation, because touckback.
Up the middle is where my sobriety is and I threw the ball for a timeout. First
down. Skol! I’m sober, and there’s a flag on the play. And boom goes the
dynamite.
