After much
careful consideration and a thorough investigation into my criminal background,
the United States Postal Service has rescinded their conditional job offer
based on said background. They say it is no reflection on my abilities to
perform the duties of the position, and that I am encouraged to apply for
future vacancies within the Postal Service. Three minutes after I received that notice, I received
another email from H.R. stating that they were now encouraging me to pursue
other career options, as I am not suitable or eligible for other positions
within the Postal Service.
Maybe not enough
time has lapsed since I did the things that made me who I appear to be to the
majority of society. Maybe they are afraid that because of my felony theft in
1998, I would rifle through the mail and steal trinkets and money so I could
buy the drugs I was convicted of possessing in 2014. Maybe they looked at my lawless career as a
whole, and decided that even though I am a good person now, I spent much more
of my life breaking the law than fixing myself. Maybe. There are a lot of questions
on my end, and just a cold, automated response generated by a system to which I
cannot reply on their end.
I guess it’s
over. But I’m not down. Truly, I actually feel pretty good that I tried to do
something I thought I had no chance at achieving. And as I related in an
earlier post, this is the worst case scenario. My current worst case scenario
leaves me with a good job, great benefits, and coworkers I already like. I
still have a home, a girlfriend, a minivan, and all five of my limbs; six if
you count my head. I haven’t lost anything, nor am I not gaining something
substantially better than I have. In fact, I think the Post Office is missing
out on a hard-working, young, passionate, young, diligent young man and they
will be worse off without having given me a chance, but I do not resent them.
They have to go off of statistics, their best interest, and the best interest
of society.
I have to
live forever with the mistakes that made me who I am today, and I am particularly
pleased with who I am because of these faults. No expungement, quantity of
time, or measure of work I do with others in the program can ever erase the
history of me on the internet, so I cannot and will not ever try to hide my felonies
from potential employers. I can only hope that someday, somewhere, somebody
overlooks my list of blunders and gives me a shot at something that I can do
until I retire.
I know I can’t
be a line cook forever, and I know I don’t want to move up the line from cook,
to sous, to chef. I’m not qualified and I don’t want to work those kinds of
hours. I love being creative with food, working with people from different
countries, and I like the sense of humor that can be used in that environment
(see Waiting). But I also
like helping people get through what I have been through, and would like to
find a way into something like that. But, as I’ve mentioned before, I have no
qualifications other than living it and surviving it. I have no shot at going
back to school, and few options this far out in the middle of nowhere.
So, for now,
I wait to make a move, and hope something comes to me when the time is right.
Maybe I get old and crippled on the line and have stories to tell until I die,
or maybe something or somebody finds me and knows where I can be of more use to
society. Maybe I find a place where I can write on a more….paid basis. Maybe.
I’m grateful
for what I have. If I keep taking chances, my life can only improve as long as
I understand that failure is part of the process. I’m good. I’m humble. I’m
alive.
