For three weeks, my life has been a solid mixture of liquid
and semi-solid waste. For three weeks, my life has been filled with
frustration, confusion, and bitterness toward our new dog that nearly
exclusively uses our house as a toilet.
We got him as an older pup: 14 weeks. By then, most dogs are
potty-trained, however we got him from a breeder that apparently didn’t have
housebreaking in their schedule, and it’s been a literal mess ever since. His
name is Roofus, and he is a beautiful German Shepherd.
Imagine a litter box, and then imagine it without litter,
then imagine the litter box as our home, then change it from cats to dog. There
you have it; my life of shit and piss.
He also excessively whines, barks, and chews. I have
frequent urges to hit him, and I fantasize a situation in which he magically
disappears and my life is back to normal. (I know negative reinforcement doesn’t
make a better dog. I don’t hit him.) But, alas, we keep adapting to him, and
closing off areas of our house to ensure we don’t have to use the carpet
cleaner every day. And slowly—almost painfully slow—he’s catching on to the
fact that he gets a treat when he goes potty outside. I started going outside
as well because I really like the flavor of the treats and I think maybe he
will learn faster if daddy shows him what to do.
The first time we left him home alone, we put him in a
kennel, and when I arrived home, all sides—including the top—were completely
smeared in feces. Roofus himself was caked from head to tail and just getting
him from kennel to door left a splattered trail of poo on everything he neared.
I hosed him down. I hosed down the kennel.
And I did it all again the next day. On a completely unrelated note, I have a
large, shit-splattered kennel for sale. Cheap.
He is loving, kind, and learning obedience. I have him
enrolled in an 18-week obedience course where I go for an hour every Tuesday
night and learn some basics and into some advanced stuff for the last six
weeks. He picks up simple commands rather quickly, and he’s eager to do
anything that’s new. We took him to the dog park earlier this week and he did
really well.
Willie gets along with him too, which is very important for
him. The cats don’t like him, but I think that’s pretty standard. And, the
girls love him and that is the most important. He will be our family dog for
hopefully a decade, and even though he’s off to a pretty rough start, he has a
lot of time to improve. He can really only
improve.
It’s about a hundred degrees outside right now and I am so
happy I mowed the lawn yesterday. I am stopping this post short to take the
girls down to the pool to cool off and have a little fun. I’ll write more
later.
Any suggestions on potty training, please let me know.
